Okay, here goes nothin' . . .

I'm not comfortable divulgin' sensitive info 'bout myself, but the description of a "first wave indigo adult" actually brought tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat. Silly, huh!?

I dunno, but I've always known I was different at an incredibly early age. At ten I was already plotting my death 'cause I so didn't belong here. It took me seven years to carry out my attempt. It was humiliating but I did it. It opened so many doors--I slowly began my journey to finding myself and am still on that journey.

As a very young child I just knew of things 'bout myself and of others. I knew what was going to happen--they would tell me--mostly, the man in my room--I called him Mr. Spirit. He was always there talkin' to me. I'd find a li'l sanctuary within his healing words among the absolute sadness. I couldn't see him, but knew he was there. He's still with me to this day.

I was mired in extreme Catholic rituals as a child. At twelve I refused to get my conformation--my parents were strict and verbally abusive. I don't blame them, although I did as a child--I couldn't understand why they couldn't understand me.

As an adult--thirty-five--I understand my parents were doin' what they knew best--raisin' me as they were raised. I have completely forgiven them for all they have done to me.

I was bullied throughout my teen years for bein' ugly (to their eyes), small, extremely shy, and different. I learned quickly to endure "silent pain" as I called it. I never showed anyone my emotions--it wasn't 'til I was alone in my room (locked in) I'd cry, sometimes all night long 'til dawn. All the while the energy in my room was always there for comfort--sometimes it didn't seem like enough.

I appreciate all he has done for me. We have an incredible bond--he's there and I'm here. How weird?

Thank you for this site--and thank you for lettin' me feel safe to write what I've always kept secret. No one in my life knows of this--no one living knows who I really am. It's like bein' in disguise all the time.

What I've wrote is but a fraction of what has transpired and what I've endured and tolerated, and learned.

I hope there are others out there who can sincerely relate to what I've wrote.

Let's embrace, for it's about time.

~Ops

Hiya Ops. I loved your post and could relate to it. I have had a very busy life, and many challenges. I used to feel very different, and my challenges have served to toughen me up, I believe. More about me can be found on my personal website. I was born in 1963, and wonder if I could be one of the earlier indigos.

I think that we are both indigos, if you, like me, are a compassionate and empathetic person, who loves the world, but feels/thinks that it (the human world) is a sad place - i.e. humankind has created a place of suffering, when such beauty and harmony is our true potential, and we sometimes feel so hurt or sad inside that we ask the question "why?", that is, why am I here, amongst such pain and suffering, when our true world is one of beauty and peace. I know that I myself am patiently waiting to return to my true home.

I hope that indigo adults aged in their 30s and 40s and all indigo adults can link up and help each other and all of humanity to improve our human world.

Peace and All Good

Celine (spiritual name - Star Wise)

I wrote my will on a computer at age 13

Bullied from 5th grade to 9th grade

Never understood what being "saved in Jesus" really means

Ritalin from 5th grade until 9th grade

Therapist for my "self-image" from 9th-11th grade

By that time I bottled up my emotions pretty good to be very fearful of the world at 18 and I wouldn't make progress until my early 30's

You don't get through that without protection, I've been told that I have multiple guides and angels as well as Mountain Lion as my animal guide which strongly took over after I was adopted at 3 months old.

Keep on growing, you have a whole team supporting you.