| Subject: |
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Works for us |
| Name: |
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Jack |
| Date Posted: |
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Feb 6, 08 - 2:33 PM |
| Email: |
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jjrpph@rit.edu |
| Message: |
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My girlfriend of two years and I, have been in an open relationship now, for about 9 months. We live far apart and I visit once a month. We talk about marriage when our professional circumstances allow. She has an old boyfriend near her whom I know and like. They get together occasionally. It all works very well. When I visit, the 3 of us pal around.
It's kind of amazing how easy it is.
We live with the agreement that she and I are the prime relationship, any other lover is a guest in our home. The other is allowed as long he's not potential competition. That leaves room for a lot of rewarding experiences that would be disallowed in a traditional marriage. Our rules are no rivals, no secretes, no exposure to STDs.
This arrangement is fine with our friend. He doesn't want to steal her from me. In a funny way, I think our relationship makes it possible for them to share love.
We agreed that I set the limits for her sexual freedom and she sets the limits for mine. It doesn't have to be the same, and it could change with our comfort levels. Currently she is pretty much completely free. However she found herself getting jealous when I (at her prodding) considered another woman. So I pulled back. That was actually what I wanted. I feel fine with her having other lovers, but the thought of me doing it doesn't fit.
This is working very well for us. Whatever issues she and I have in our relationship, the sharing of love is not one of them. That part of us works well.
The only concern we have found is that I am tempted to be too involved in what she does with him. I learned to l step back and let her own her libido and her choices. That was very important.
I don't see this as ever changing. When we live together and are married it will be the same.
It seems the hardest part is telling other people about it. It's hard to explain. Our sex is the best that either of us ever had, and we are in our 50's. I am having such a wonderful experience and yet only a couple of people have any idea what is going on.
Does anyone have something like this to share? |
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