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kracker
Jun 30, 05 - 7:17 PM |
BREAKING NEWS
Weekly World News: Today the capitol building in Washington D.C.was attacked by a 200 foot Jamba durring the presidential Bozo dress up party..It is rumored the 200 foot jamba,arived in a volkswagon van with N.Y.lisence plate #LUVWEINER..First lady Barbra Busch is quoted saying "it was horiable,the stench arived before he did ,and when the enormous jamba arived he asked if he could touch georges weiner". Close sorces to the whitehouse informed Weekly World News prior to press time,the enormous jamba is actually a close pesonal friend of the president's named Jay smilkinstein from Mt.Kisco N.Y. ,a hudsonvalley comunity located between albany and N.Y.C. , and was invited to the partie by the president.. The giant jamba did damage estimated to be in the millions of dollars from the extremly huge skidmarks on the dome of the capitol building when he sat on the rotunda and rotated,to the repainting of the entire capitol building due to the fact the stench caused all the paint to peel off the entire capitol building.. Secretary of State Condolisa Rice is qouted saying" this has to be the worst national disaster since Shemans army burned the capitol durring the revolutionary war,and what was that smell? We were just having a dress up party and this jamba shows up wanting to touch everyones weiner." Acording to Seceratry of Defence Donald Rumsfeld "The beast was last seen heading north towards Monticello Me. He was chanting "i'm a weiners friend" ".Rumsfeld also said"it called me Rumpsfelt and it scared me at first untill i let him touch my weiner but it felt good ,I'm going to miss that jamba, hope he doesn't get diahria or he'll never make it to Monstercello". There have been several reports of similar incedents from our radio corospondent Cptn.Ganga in Kulpsville Pa.. Cptn.Ganga is quoted saying'"that f00kin schloob tried to touch my weiner so we gave him a glass of mountain don't and put him on trial f00kin a&pmlom ,then pushed him out of the evevator,pmlol,the schl00b wanted to go to Monstercello to see Alans Weiner i hope he gets diahria so he doesn't make it,poor Alan , run alan run". We spoke with Alan Weiner he is quoted saying,"Jay is harmless, he builds some really neat stuff,and pattened the goose neck light on his radio to improve reception,genius sheer genius,not to mention the estate that he lives on, I envey Jay,he is welcome at weiner acres anytime" At press time the enormous Jamba was seen on the pay phone at the A&P in Mt.Kisco N.Y. calling in to Alan Weiner World Wide.. By; Kracker News corospondent for the Weekly World News |
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