Why can't i be good enough what did i do he ruined me and now ill never be good enough ill always be this stupid stupid little girl that will never be good enough who wants that right? a mess, nobody wants to deal with that... not even myself

wish i could be 5 again then id know what to do!

Cant even post a comment right! didnt want to see who wrote it now everyone knows im an idiot! didnt realise if you come on the site before you email comes up auto! great another thing to add to the list of i can't do!! the girl nobody wants to be near yay! award for me!<3

Hi,

I think you sound very upset and hurt. I think what you said is hard on you. I've read your posts and they always help the other person out first. You always say good things and are kind. I think someone will say 'what's good enough anyway?' they said it to me a few times when I was upset or frustrated because I'm not good enough or strong enough. I think the help you've offered other people has helped them and I'm sure they've wanted you. I know some of the things I read has helped me. I think you talk to 18u but they could give you better support if you need them. I haven't ever replied or posted to you though because im not really meant to use it but I wanted to say that you are always 'good enough' because you try you best and you help other people.

Someone

Moment of madness! clearly i was too upset and shouldnt have came on here, because now everyone knows lol owell i slipped up never mind! haha. thanks for your comment was really nice<3 means alot. why arent you allowed to use it? you mean the website? isnt everyone allowed to use it? xx

Hi,

I didn't expect a reply so fast. I did mean the website. You have to be 18 and under and I'm not that anymore so I don't think I was meant to use it properly. I think only the workers are allowed to use it when they are over 18. It just feels more safe/comfortable here though. I hope you didn't mind me replying or ever reading any posts from anyone. If you'd rather me not I can stop?

S

oh i didnt know that. i'm not 18 either? i'm 20 nobody ever said anything though. oops lol.

course i dont mind! it was nice for someone to be nice<3 thank you xx

Hi,

Oh ok, I think I will ask. It would be good if I could. Im guessing though maybe i can though, ive only just turnt 21 but ill still ask. It feels better than the other place. Your 'good' though and friendly. I'm sorry that it sound like maybe it was hard last night. Are you feeling any better?

S x

mm yeh i duno? hopefully. i like this site.

yeh a little still down but a bit better i guess, good having somebody thats on the net to write back to, helps<3 xx

It helps to have someone there when there's no one else but the 'workers' are great. don't like calling them that but don't know what else to call them other than by real names. I'm glad your feeling a little bit better but is there anything that's ok and that will help any more? S x

ye there all great, but its a sunday and who wants bothered on a sunday! lol. i duno, i guess i just need to get a grip today xx

Do you do writing or drawing? Do you think that might help? Sorry, I'm not very good with suggestions. Maybe if you write everything down in a email to the person you feel you trust most then maybe they will read it early on mon and maybe by writing it it might help? S x

i'm a rubbish drawer, but i write alot, poems or storys. yeh thanks. no your not thats a good idiea<3 don't wana email them, feel like i'm getting a bit annoying now, ill just write it to myself haha! x

I don't know, I'm sure they wouldn't be. I find that some times it just helps to have someone read it. I don't think they get annoyed with anyone talking with them. I'm sure one would have been mad with me but she never was, I did ask if she was a few times but she said she wasn't even when I phoned she said she wasn't. I dont know, maybe they would feel privilidged that you could talk with them a little bit?I don't think it's that important if you can't draw just so long as you understand it. I used to write a little bit but it never really makes sense and then I always destroy it after so no one finds it. C x

i bet your writing was good, you just didnt think so yourself, i dont like what i write but others might. yeh i guess your right, maybe ill text or something,just don't want to be annoying xx

I'm not sure with the email bit, sorry. I find it hard to trust sometimes. It took me a long time to talk with someone else. Can I ask Katy first? I don't mean to be horrible. Sorry. I think maybe I'd like to read but I'm not sure. Do you show alot of people? I bet there really good. C

Sorry I had to change my name because it's saying I posted too many times and I can't post anymore so I hope this works?

hey, lol no i meant like if you type my email in at the top serch bit then you can read them, there on here lol, it would prob work if you type in neverbelieve too? not sure. i dont show many people my poems no, just people who know and who i trust, like most of 18 and under have seen them, umm and my worker thats it really, but some are on here, so i guess whoever comes on here have read them too part that i dont show friends or anything like that xx

Sorry. Guess I got confused. Thankyou for understanding. I've never talked to anyone like this before. Is different to talking to other people? Will take a look now. C

No i think i wrote it funny lol. no problem. what do you mean? like youve never spoke to someone on this website or anyone just about this? iv told a few people things that i thought i would never be able to tell anyone, but i have it gets easier in time and the more i talk i guess, but it helps me, before 18 and under i wasnt a talker atall i didnt tell anyone anything, they changed that, now i do what i have to in a way. xx

Sorry, I mean anyone on a site. I tried to once. I just read normally. I only talk with Katy and jerri and one other person. I think it's good your able to talk with people. C

hey sorry its taken me so long to write back my laptop went all funny. Yeh i talk on alot of websites its easier than face to face for me cause they cant see you, ect. Aww yeh Jerri's really nice really easy to talk to. i dont see katy much. do you mean that thats the only people you talk to? what about family and friends? xx

Hi thats ok, my family and friends don't know. So it's the only people I can talk about this to but I want it that way so it's my choice. I still talk to people normally like at home or at work but I'm different with them I guess. How you feeling? C x

i duno what your family and friends dont know about you, but mine dont know about me either. yeah im not the same, you can only ever really be yourself around the people who know how you feel because when im hiding stuff i dont feel myself. yeh im feeling alot better now, sitting just writing back and fourth to you has really helped, its took my mind away from things. <3 i hope you had a good weekend. mines was good untill last night when i wrote my first comment on here but apart from that its been good xx

I worked most of mine. It's distracting writing back and forth isn't it, in a good way. Have you a busy week ahead? C x

aww i'm lookin for a job, although, i hate the nervous feelin you get at work when you dont know how to do soemthing, or you do something wrong lol. umm not got much to do this week i dont think, hopefully it becomes busy though, so im out of the house. what about you? yeh deff is in a good way xx

I'm working alot, I work with animals and I do like it. There are 4 careers, a receptionist and the owner and everyone is female which helps. I can be someone else in work and just look after the cats. I was sick before having the interview, I was up all night and was in a state but no one knew. I just got to think of the animals and it seems to get me through hard things. It was really hard to find a job. It's meant to stay sunny, it's really hot, too hot for me. C x

awww thats good, glad the animals get you thru, i write and that helps me. i guess theres something that helps everyone a little and there all different stuff. yeh being all girls is good to. at least its something you enjoy yeh! xx

What sort of jobs are you looking at? What are you interested in? I read some of your poems, they are really expressive. C x

the ones on here(the poems) there not good ones they are like ones when iv just needed to get something out or talk or that put no time into them or nothing just rushed. i have a book that i got from someone, i think it has about 300 poems init, the book means the world to is, just because its like my copying i tell it everything haha yeh not crazy ! :p but i do i right every thing in that book as a poem so its really important to me. I'm not really to bothered ill do anything. waitin to hear back from one in game in dundee got my fingers crossed, then game station will see what happens, hope fully get one soon but id do pretty much any job :)xx

Wow. That sounds alot, it's good that your able to keep it all and use it to help you. Its also good your try most things. I can't believe we've been talking for so long.it's been really easy talking. Thankyou. C x

yeh i love my book, means more to me then alot of things. yeh it has been, why are you thanking me, was you that cheered me up and took my mind of things, was really good to talk to you. hope your okay and next time your bored or wanna chat then just write on this post and ill get an email saying someones replied to it and ill check it out. Keep smiling :) xx

Thankyou. Why thankyou, because it's been ok, it's been nice and not too scary or bad. I'm glad your feeling happier. Same, I check in to look if you do too. Hope your were able to write something too. C x

its never bad to talk, i used to think it was but its okay to talk about whatever you want to. i used to get scared about it to. its been good<3 xx

Hi,

Hope today is good for you and your night was ok and your feeling a bit better still? I asked someone about me being able to use here and she said yes it's ok. So I guess it's ok. C x

Hey! yes, my night was fine, how was yours? you working today? lazy day in the house for me, got a few films can't wait to see sado! haha. hope you have a good day xx

I'm not working today. Which films you got? I'm off out soon so just getting ready. Hope you enjoy them. C x

Got bad bosses and the room mate. will see what like lol. aww where you off to? have fun, speak to you soon! Ceexx

It was no where fun. How was the films? looks like were in for a thunder storm. Don't really like them, guessing you won't have though?

awell, hope it was okay. only watched room mate, that was pretty good i enjoyed it, away to go to the pictures to see Jason strahams new film, love him so cant wait ha. I hate thunder. guessing i wont have what? x

Guessing you won't have thunder? Or have you? I'm clueless to who jason stahams may be? But anyway hope you enjoy it. Take care. C x

no strong winds but no thunder, its freezing tho! Jason Straham is one of the best and defo the hottest actor ever. lol. hes in crank and transporter, every film hes in is great well ithink so anyway hehe. off to sleep now, hope youve had a good night. sweet dreams, keep smiling<3 xx

Hi,

Ok well I've not seen either of them. :-/. I'm not a great film buff. We had high winds and lots of rain but luckily no thunder. Glad enjoyed the film though and hope you slept well. :-). C x

Hi, just wondering how your days gone? Hope it's going ok. C x

aww i love films lol got so many! i think i slept funny beccause ive woken up with a sore neck and back lol. hope you did. yeh days been fine today, away to do training for a place i volunteer for, so looking forward to that at 4 :) hows yours going? xx

Hi. that sounds nice. Is it difficult training? Hope it all goes ok. Mine is ok. Just going to go back to do the pm feeds. Im hoping it's over with fast. C x

its training for befriending, been really interseting, finshed all the trainning now, so will get matched soon, hopefully help whoever i get matched with. whats pm feeds? and why do you hope its over fast? xx

Pm feeds is when you feed the cats on a pm and do any medication for them, it involves everything a am feed would do but at pm and means any cats just on pm meds can get them. I wanted it over fast so I could go to my other job fast and get home sooner and get into bed and stay there, not to really sleep just be there. You looking forward to it lots? Have you heard back from game? C x

aww okay. you okay? just cause you wanna get to bed and stay there. hope everythings okay. yeh really looking forward to being a befriender, i woulda like one when i was younger, so i think it be good to do. just found out law and order svu has put off stabler and ovlia benson might be leaving:( do you watch lawand order, its my fave lol. every episode i watch, duno why i just love it lol. so pretty gutted there leaving haha! i knowi ts only a tv programme but its just so good but without them will berubbish! lol. hope you got your pm feeds done quick and that! xx

Hi, sorry I didn't reply last night, my mum switched off the Internet and I wasn't allowed it back on. I have watched a little bit of law and order, I've watched a bit of csi as well. Im not massive on tv. There were some that i really enjoyed like wild at heart and water loo rd but water loo rd is the only one i try to watch at the moment. I do read alot though? Do you? And I listen to music alot. I probaly do those more than anything. I just like my bed, feels alot safer for me. Don't know why. I would just stay in bed some days if I could. My mum won't ever let me though, says it's lazy. Hope you have a nice day and you get matched up soon. C x

i love waterloo watched it from the start haha and wild at heart, im a tv person recored them if i dont se them lol. on internet catch up thats how sad i am. yeh i love music, what kind of music you into? yeh i like reading but only true storys what about you, what kind of books? yeh beds always like that ah? i love lying there, yeh my gran wouldnt let me stay in all day either, gutted. got matched already lol, meet up next tues :) so looking forward to it. hope you have a good day!! xx

Hi, Looks like your excited? I Just like songs for what they are. There's a few I like mostly individual songs mostly. You? I really liked my sisters keeper and Emma and I, places called here, Daniel isn't talking, probaly more I can think of but will just carry on. Any ones you really like? How has your day been?

yeh i am lol. yeh im the same, i like all music though. depends what mood am in of what i listen too hehe/ my sisters keeper is sooo sad! iv never heard of the others what are they about? films i love are oones like taken and action or true movies<3 days been alright didnt do much, away to watch waterloo road hightlight of my day and night lol yours? xx