somtimes im afraid of life
sometimes thats okay,
when we'er separate from this,
universale way......

sometimes i was on my own,
i thought that was okay,
untill my dad came up to me,
and tock my inocence away....

if i kill my self,
will he find me?
if im dead and gone,
will he bind me?
to this seal of mine
long and dead
will i know am i gone?
will i rome on and on?



5 years ago when i was 11 i had my inocece taken away from me, i have no one to talk to,
my mum dosnt no and my thoghts and the guilt is driving me crazy !!!!

can you help by giving any advise

Naomi, my advice would be to tell somebody. It doesn't have to be your mum but sometimes just to speak about it and try and understand your feelings will help.
Mostly though don't feel guilty, it wasnt your fault and you couldn't control it. You need to help yourself feel better about you.
Don't let your dad win by letting him stop you living a good lifen that you deserve.
You might find it helpful to join a group that talk about this or do relaxation / meditation techniques.
Hope all goes well and you keep your chin up honey.
xxJess

i had a meating and it was horrible but they say because of what happend there are big side affects like no confidance low self esteme ect

a youthworker i spoke to is taking me to a youth club every monday in boston to meet new people and try n build up my confidance, she said she will come with me and stay with me to give support i also have her number to contact if i need so thanks for your advise

still havernt told my mum i carnt cheryl the youthworker said i should tell my mum really but i cant i dont no why, im so stupid lol

thanks again

naomi
x

i agree with jess. you are not alone! i know that you may feel as though you are but there are people out there who can help. if you feel able you can phone 18u and talk to someone in total confidence. there is a freephone number that does not show up on phone bills. you can e mail 18u also. the numbers and e mail addys are on this web site.

thank you i will try and email or somthing but dont no what to put

you can send me an e mail if you want. you can just say anything you want to. i am glad that you have found some support. hopefully you will get more confident and will be able to have lots of fun and do all the things you want to do. it is not your fault that bad things happened and you can recover from this. my e mail address is on the web site but to save you searching...it is lormac1053@aol.com

I agree that is does make it easier talking to someone but it can be hard talking to your mum as she may wish to get the person that has been bad to you. I kept my secret in for a very long time and it has made my life harder. Please contact any support network available to you, they will help you. I would say 18 and under sound the best one as they are the only ones that dont pass your information on to ANYONE else. This can make telling a little bit easier but it will help. They have helped me in a very big way and I am now getting on with my life which is something i could not see happening a year ago. I have a support worker that i can text or email when ever i feel low and that is quite alot. Dont know if i can say her name on here but if i can i would as she has been a life line for me. Please stay safe and know that you are not the only one feeling like this, AND there is a light at the end of this for you. Be strong Naomi dont let them win. Thinking of you Lily x

Hi Naomi....
I just logged on to see if you'd replied and I am soo glad that you had come this far as to tell someone.
Well done you wee star!!!
I know that it is really hard to keep this from your mum because if you don't tell her you hurt inside and if you do tell her you risk hurting her. What you are feeling is guilt because every good girl wants to tell her mum everything. Im sure that one day you will know when the right time is to tell her so why dont you make a goal that for now you will focus on fixing yourself...and in time, maybe when you're older...you will tell her. Knowing that you are "going to" tell her will make you feel better. For now please think about yourself and work on your confidence. Also it would be better to tell her once you are over it and feel good so that you can show her that you are ok and not to worry. I know how much of a weight that is to carry on your shoulders but you did not do anything wrong no matter what you said or did, Nobody is allowed to hurt you in anyway and that is the law.Don't feel bad I promise that I am not just saying that to make you feel better.
Even just by you admitting what hapended to you and speaking up, it means that you are a survivor and you dont even know it!! You are a fighter and I really hope you realise how much strength you really have inside. Don't let that bad person win. YOU have the power to choose your destiny and no one else. Once your grown up if you put your mind to it you will be able to acheive all your dreams. Whatever you want. Then like me hopefully you will feel like how I do. I know where the person who abused me lives and I actually feel sorry for them for being so sick. They are the ones that done something bad, not me and I feel sorry for them that I am so healthy and happy and they are so horrid and sick, their life will always be rubbish but not mine. I grew up and got a job and my own flat and now I really love looking after kids and protecting them from that badness out there.
Let me know how you get on chick ok. AND REMEMBER...when you look in the mirror tell yourself that you are a great person and you are beautiful and that you are a fighter. If he comes near you again scream at the top of your voice.
Sending you A BIG HUG! And you Lilly xxxxxx