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As a young girl I was drawn 2 the lovely ladies I always saw wearing pink & green. They were classy, elegant, smooth & sophisticated. I felt they were what a lady should b. But as fate would have it over time I 4got about the ladies in pearls & moved onto other things. While in high school my interest in the said sorority was renewed when a best friend of mine showed up to school wearing a shirt with the letters of the organization. I immediately bum rushed her asking where did she get. I was excited for her & myself. One of my best friends held an interest for the organization I also held an interest for. I was set!
College: Innocent Beginnings
With my entry into college came a renewed interest in sorority life & all that it held. I saw it as a way 2 gain new friends, be envied & have friends that I could call 2 random meaningless things. At the beginning of my college career my reasons 4 pursuing membership were all wrong (obviously). With my 1rst transfer 2 a prominent private school I was somewhat introduced 2 the chapter of the sorority I was interested in. They didn't have a campus presence at all & they were only seen when they would throw random events at random times (Skee-Week in November, Stroll In December). I had been 2 there website & signed up 4 there newsletter. At this time I did not know that I was supposed to seeking out members, learning history & etc, but that was actually to my advantage. When I added one of the chapter members on facebook another one immediately added me also. She messaged me telling me to to leave the fan page for the sorority (discretion is a huge part of becoming a member) and she also gave me her number if I ever needed anything. I thought this was weird because I never truly expressed interest. In retrospect I find it funny that when I wanted to join for the wrong reasons I was immediately accepted but when I wanted to join for the right reasons I was given a hard time? Maybe the priorities of the two chapters are different but I digress. So I go throughout my school year as normal. I attend rush but I do not submit any documents. and I get to know all of the girls that would eventually become the chapters first ghost or renegade line. So after attending rush I hear from an associate that the girls, from the rush, are on line and that it is crazy. She does not give me details, but at this point I didn't care. I was confident in my self and only found joining a sorority as a plus. I continued through the semester. In the next semester I found myself at a new school as a result of my financial aide falling through. It was between the end of that semester and the next one that the change happened.
As an aspirant for any organization there is a period of time when you shift from an interest to a serious interest. When it comes to the sorority I was interested in this included:Knowing founders. The original group and the sophomores. Knowing the incorporators. Knowing Supreme Basileus's past and present along with tenure. Knowing the background of the 20 pearls. Knowing the history. Knowing the mission and purpose. Knowing the Greek alphabet. Forwards AND backwards. Knowing charter dates. Knowing the history of your region. Knowing the Executive directors. Knowing the regional directors. Knowing nomenclature. Not wearing pink or pearls. Not wearing green. Not holding your pinkie up when drinking. Knowing your chapters charters & the list goes on and on and on and on.
My transformation came during the summer when I began working with someone who was also a serious interest (or so I thought). I should have known something was wrong because she did not even attempt to know the founders, national song and all the other things that would be needed. Needless to say her interest in the sorority along with our friendship went down the toilet as soon as trouble came and it was destined to. As if on cue word began to spread that the chapter at the school was suspended. I was in utter shock and disbelief because they were just active and I knew for a fact that they had crossed a line the semester before they were suspended. Well the rumors were true. The chapter was suspended for two years and the girls who were recently added were suspended and did not even get to probate. This devastated me (here's your clue). If I was of clear mind at that moment I would have realized that joining a sorority should NOT devastate me. Someone passing away or getting a bad grade should not devastate me. Not membership into a sorority, but against my better subconscious "I delved further and further into the mysteries of Alpha Kappa Alpha" (taken from the ritual book. NO I DO NOT OWN ONE. It is funny how when you truly research an organization you will ALWAYS find there dirty secrets that they only want you to know once you get in. Whoops). So after my time of despair I picked myself up and began my first semester at my new school.
During my year tenure at my new school I became obsessed with becoming a member. I would stalk the Facebook pages of girls I knew were members and record all traces of there being down low events hosted by them so that I could get a chance to get in good with them before everyone else. This obsession even made its way into the classroom. While in school I met a girl who was kind of mentor (demon mentor) while I was there. I did not know my way around campus (I didn't even try to get a guided tour). We would eat lunch together, talk about our boyfriends and gossip. One day we came onto the issue of sororities. She seemed to want to help me with getting to know people. It wasn't until she suggested I get close with a campus frat member that I thought something was wrong. If I was to get close to a frat member than surely she must have told him I was interested in the sorority right? I never found out, because I did not pursue anymore conversations on the subject with her. The last reference to the sorority was when we were in class and I happened to see that she knew one of the members. Needless to say our friendship ended on a bad note. She was an annoying and controlling person who tried to connive people into doing what she wanted. I was not having that so I left her alone. Before I knew it people I once called an associate acted weird around me. I knew it was because of her. She solidified this for me when one day I was walking and she saw me. She immediately dashed for the elevator and I followed her. Now my ghetto side was saying stomp this ho, but I am always the bigger and obviously better person. I said hello to her and asked how she was doing. As soon as I made it home I deleted her from my Facebook and we never spoke again. After my mishaps I decided to transfer again. It was during this time I learned the deadly truth about the sorority that I loved so much.
With my transfer to a new school I felt a renewed interest in college life, getting involved and pursuing my sorority of choice further. I was set to volunteer, I knew my way around campus and I was dedicated to making last few semesters in undergraduate a rewarding experience. I had gone from wanting to join for the wrong reasons to wanting to join because of:
The opportunity to leave a legacy
The opportunity to be a part of an esteemed organization
Learn skills as I searched for that land of pink and green
& so much more
Now along the way I learned some disheartening stuff about the sorority.
Idolatory, Paganism, Lying. You name it, it has it.
While researching I kept on hearing that members could not be Christian's at the same time. I thought this was preposterous since there are many prominent people who are members of these organizations and they are some of the most influential in society today. I initially wrote off everything I was hearing but with a random burst of curiosity I decided to dig a little further. I found these websites and videos.
Saying that I was stunned would be understatement of the century. I was floored, confused and distraught. I though surely all of this was a lie. I read page after page of testimony from ex members getting angrier and angrier that they had betrayed an organization that I wanted so badly to a member of. (this is insane obviously). I am not going to break down everything for you (sorry lol), but the above mentioned resources are more than enough. Trust me.
Could I possibly join an organization that has these things in there ritual?
“To thee, oh Alpha Kappa Alpha, we pledge our heart, our minds, our strength. To foster thy teachings, obey thy laws, and make thee supreme in service to all mankind. Oh Alpha Kappa Alpha, we greet thee.”
“All Hail Alpha Kappa Alpha Dear we greet thee here tonight …. Will always reverence AKA forever in a day…”
“Let my soul like the Ivy be; heaven not earth is the place for thee”
"So together a new we will pledge our faith and united we'll forge away. Greater laurels to win, greater tasks to begin, for thy honor and glory today..."
“There is still another bond which many believe to be our strongest link – our vows which are made by each member of the sorority. Because our rituals represent the spiritual foundation, they should be revered and held to the highest esteem.”
I went for a while knowing these things but it was not only months later they began to affect me.
Legal Problems-It had been known for a while that the sorority was being sued for misappropriation of funds by ten members of the organization. I honestly felt for the organization. I felt that things could happen to where budgets are slightly off but that was no reason to damage the image of an 102 year old organization. I held this sentiment and did no further research until a few months later.
On this website "Friends of the Weeping Ivy" I found out the truth behind the lawsuits and everything that is going on. Under the documents and media tab they have all the case documents along with correspondence between prominent members within the organization. I was stunned to see all the ill treatment, nastiness and down right evilness of the sorority that I had spent so much time falling in love with. There were detailed accounts of the Supreme Basilius at the time verbally abusing employees, misappropriating funds, firing people without reason and spreading rumors.
Through The Mo' Kelly Report I found this document located here: http://premium.fileden.com/premium/2007/7/31/1311456/BamCrazy.pdf that shows the president at the time stooping to all new lows. For information go here: http://en.wordpress.com/tag/barbara-a-mckinzie/. Mo Kelly has hilarious commentary on all the goings on of the various lawsuits.
After finding out so much negativity (read ALL the court documents to understand what I am talking about) I still pushed on and continued to seek membership. (I should have known my interest had grown into an unhealthy obsession.)
So, what made me decide to NOT seek membership?
After 2 and a half years of serious interest in this sorority I was finally beginning to feel like I was going to reach my goal. I knew all the history, I was in good with one of the past members, I was working on my interest letter way ahead of time, I was building up my community service and so much more. I felt like I was ready. I would not be caught dead wearing pink or green. I even contemplated not wearing the $200 James Avery cultured pearl ring my mother got me for my 20th birthday (crazy). I was 100% committed to doing WHATEVER it took to gain membership into the oldest and most renown (so I thought) black sorority. This all came down in five minutes (thank God). On the first day of school I followed through on my promise of knowing my way around campus and getting involved. It was while doing this I made my way to one section of campus where the Student Activities are held. As soon as I made it in the room I froze. There were members of the chapter standing around there display. It was like seeing a celebrity for years on TV and then finally seeing them in person. I was star struck (sad). I had researched ALL of them. I knew there line names, when they crossed and etc. To buy some more time to strategize I decided to look around. This only bought me a few minutes, but to give me some more time I called my mom. While on the phone with my mom I walked towards there display and leaned around them to see it. I was sweating bullets. I finally got off the phone with my mom and decided to approach them. This is what saved my life (literally). When I approached them they just stared at me. Literally. It was the weirdest thing I have ever experienced in my life. It was like I was being told go away without them saying it. I was only able to squeak out "I just wanted to see your display". They parted and I passed through to get a look. They completely ignored me and at times became very quiet. After I was done looking I told them there display was very nice, I also restated it was very beautiful like an idiot. They just stared at me. I then told them my name and excused myself. I had never been so humiliated in my life.
Some will say "That is all that happened? Girl that was nothing! It could have been worse!" I certainly beg to differ. For a sorority that prides itself on alleviating problems between women and girls they definitely caused me internal problems by treating me like a nobody when in fact I am the bomb.com (literally). I came up to them humbly and not disrespectful. Maybe this is normal, but it is not what I will tolerate nor accept to gain membership into something that is not in line with what I believe in the first place.
While I was around them I noticed a lot of things that truly make me question whether they really are close "sorors" or if they really do believe the mantra they peddle day in and day out about service to all mankind.
The first things I notices about them was there grammar. They talked extremely ghetto, this including the president. I was stunned to hear such language and sentence structure used from women who are supposed to be esteemed.
They were blocking there display. This was counter-productive to me. If you want to continue a chapter you have to be willing to give out information. Also, blocking off your display is not necessarily welcoming nor lady like when it comes to aspirants (serious aspirants) trying to show there interest in your sorority.
When I was looking at there scrapbook all they were talking about was the paraphernalia they got at the Boule and how they wanted this that or the other. Never did I ever hear them talking about what programs they were putting on, what they were doing as a group and etc.
When I was over there I felt an extremely negative energy. It felt like they were all being fake with each other. There only common bond was that they were wearing pink, green, pearls and that they had what many aspirants all over the country wanted.
Seeing that I had researched each member I found that the relationship that portray online does not exist in the real world. There was a visible rift between the members. I thought it was weird that they would make this obvious because being secretive is a huge part of being a "soror".
When I spoke to them they were not engaging at all. With every word I spoke there was a deadly silence.
When I finally walked away from them I wanted to break down into tears. That was my first experience with these ladies and I did not like it at all. It was like being around a big ball of negative energy that wants to eat you alive but doesn't want you to know.
After meeting them I questioned myself. I felt like I was not good enough for the sorority. It wasn't until I sat and thought about it that I realized that the sorority was not good enough for me. It was no where near the high standards I held it to. I should not give it my all when all I would get (if I were chosen) was a bad attitude, the chance to wear AKA, do community service with LS's that hate each other and I doubt that it would me a happier person.
Finally, need I say how much idolatry is in this organization??? Yeah. I'd rather play tic tac toe with a serpent.
All in all my experience with them face to face proved to me what I heard about for so long. Joining a sorority is not the right thing to do. As my mom would say "When I was in college I was Me Phi Me and Book Phi Book". Coincidently she was approached by members when she was in school but she was not interested at all. That makes me flash back to when I was at my original school and I was sought out. If I had only ignored them when they sought me that first time...
Some are cutout for sorority life. Me not so much.