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This is why the Bible has to be the final authority in the life of a Christian. You actually have people counseling someone who are willingly being assaulted and brutalized to pray to God for strength. You will see in this post that HAZING is alive and well, as well as God glorified amongst in this case; BGLO members. The advice is wrong, the counsel is criminal, etc.
"atxpoetess posted 04-06-2005 09:51 PM
My sister decided that she wanted to pledge Zeta Phi Beta. Right now my mother is on the way to her school to take her to the emergency room because my sister blacked out. My sister has called me crying every single night. I know that she wants to be a Zeta very bad, but right now, I am worried about her sanity. I am a new member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated and I can't relish in my joy because my sister is catching hell. What can i do?
Lovelykelly posted 04-06-2005 11:22 PM
Pray . . .
Pray that you sister is blessed with the strength to get through the process. I am sorry to hear that your mom had to take her to the emergency room. I can only imagine how your mom is feeling about the entire situation. Pray that your mom is also blessed with the strength to deal with the current situation. I will put you in my prayers as well. It sounds like you could use some strength too.
whatever posted 04-07-2005 01:47 AM
Are you at the same chapter? And if not, is it stuff you went through? Perhaps just talking to her, telling her it gets better would help. And asking her if it's really worth it for her. It sucks when hazing weeds out people who really do want to be a part of the org, and that's not what it's intended for. But is being a part of the org important enough to her to deal with stuff that makes her cry every day? I would say it shouldn't be. Also, do you think she might feel the pressure because you're a Zeta? Perhaps you should let her know that it's not for everyone and that you understand if it's not something she wants to do.
2COLD posted 04-07-2005 07:53 AM
you're a Zeta...then maybe you should go up to your sister's school and see what's goin on. Make sure your sorrority sisters aren't doing any stupid sh*t. I'm not saying to go up there and accuse anybody, just let'em see ur face, let them know that YOU know what should and shouldn't be. I know sorrority binds run deep, but BLOOD is thicker than water. And if you're mom is going to the emergency room to check on her, that should be an alarm for you to see what's goin on.
When i was on line we had some really bad things happen to us, to the point where one of my LB's brother who was made at our Alpha chapter and gets mad dap in the tristate area, had to come up to the yard. The first thing he said was "What the f*** are ya'll doing to my brother!"
and that was that.
REDalert05 posted 04-07-2005 08:17 AM
Being a Zeta, I think you should know what to do. It appears that both you and your sister lack discretion when it comes to your sorority's matters. I'm not saying that what these ladies are doing to your sister is right, I'm just saying that you are mishandling the situation. You really shouldn't put Zeta on blast like that.
I can't think of anyone (that I know personally, of course) that had a meaningful process and didn't shed tears. It comes with the territory. However, if they're doing physical harm to the point where your sister's health is in danger, they should definitley be punished. Deal with this matter inside the sorority. When I have problems I feel are bigger then my chapter, I contact my Regional Director and she is all over the issue. I'm sure right now, making it over those sands is very important to you and your sister, but you have to choose if it's worth sacrificing her health.
mightymouse94 posted 04-07-2005 11:33 AM
When I have problems I feel are bigger then my chapter, I contact my Regional Director
Red you couldn't have said it better!!! If she is in fact a member of the organzation, she would known better. As a member she would have some say and correct this issue the proper way
Atxpoetess posted 04-07-2005 11:57 AM
I was not trying to put the organization on blast. As I stated, I am a new member of the organization and I came in through the graduate chapter, and I will admit that I shed MANY tears for this chapter, but I haven't been so physically harmed that it warranted me going to the hospital. However the both of you are correct in saying that I shouldn't have put the organization name out there. Last night when I posted, I was extremely numb because I didn't know the status of my sister's health. She is the second in her line to go to the hospital and I am just a bit concerned. I will be traveling this weekend to her campus to see what is going on. Thanks."
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Continued in next post
"Atxpoetess posted 04-07-2005 12:03 PM
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. My mother was extremly upset, but my sister and I calmed her down. I have told my sister to stay in prayer and remember that "God has not given us the spirit of fear..." I told her to keep repeating that scripture over and over until she finishes. She sent me an email yesterday about how bad she wants to finish, that sent me into tears because she has been really strong through this whole process.
Onetruedelta posted 04-07-2005 12:03 PM
I think the important things have already been mentioned. One, as a Zeta, you should not have to ask fro advice from other greeks on how to handle the situation. I do realize that as someone who is new to the sorority yourself, there may be some anxiety in approaching your Sorors who may have been in the Sorority longer. But, you must remember that the day you crossed those burning sands, you became just as much a member as they are and you are entitled to the same rights. Right now, it is important that you talk to them and find out what is going on--for the sake of your BLOOD sister. Secondly, as my Sorors have pointed out, if you still cannot talk to them and get to the bottom of it, you need to talk to your superiors. I understand that you do not want to get the chapter in trouble, but once again, this is your BLOOD sister (emphasis again on blood). Finally, in many circumstances, when parents get involved things have a tendacy to get messy, so if you are trying to protect your sister and ZPhiB, may be you should have volunteered to take your sister to the hospital, or even go with your mother, especially if your mother suspects that hazing is the cause of the problems that she is having.
You are in my prayers...
Atxpoetess posted 04-07-2005 12:36 PM
Thanks for your prayers as well.
I was unable to take my sister to the hospital because I am 300 miles away. However, I am taking off from work today and tomorrow and going there to see what can be done and to make sure that she is okay. Thanks.
CamelToFoot posted 04-07-2005 01:00 PM
I guess the old saying "when you know better, you do better" is out of the window. I would make the trip to protect my sister AND my organization from somebody(ies) with no regard for the future of the sorority. I would never question anyones love for their organization. Having said that....I truly believe that Ike did love Tina. I hope your sister and the other young lady are well.
2 people in the hospital from one pledge class? Hmmmmmm....
2COLD posted 04-07-2005 01:09 PM
I don't know if i agree with contacting the regional director...i guess it depends on your point of view regarding hazing.
Contacting the RD will mean bad things for that chapter, bad things for your sister's line, and bad things for your sister. The word will get out who made the call and the next thing you know, your sister is being ostracized for something that was totally out of her control.
I think, as a Zeta, you should definitley try to handle it yourself (as you've already indicated). And if things go too far...then make that call.
REDalert05 posted 04-07-2005 02:37 PM
2Cold, don't you think two hospitalized women from one line is already "gone too far"? How much more does she need to know that someone needs to take action. I think the RD is necessary bc the Advisor is obviously not doing too much to keep the ladies safe.
2COLD posted 04-07-2005 03:20 PM
You're right...i didn't see her second post where she mentioned the two hospitalized pledgees.
mightymouse94 posted 04-07-2005 04:00 PM
Onetrue: You hit it on the spot:
I do realize that as someone who is new to the sorority yourself, there may be some anxiety in approaching your Sorors who may have been in the Sorority longer. But, you must remember that the day you crossed those burning sands, you became just as much a member as they are and you are entitled to the same rights. Right now, it is important that you talk to them and find out what is going on--for the sake of your BLOOD sister.
First this is her BLOOD - I love my letters but my blood comes first. Especially as a member, I would have been and addressed the issue of my sister. I don't think any DECENT greek would diagree with me on that. Maybe it is just me, but this is common sense. The sad thing, this is probaly what happens when hazing is happening NOBODY stands up and says "STOP". As a member of the organization it is your duty to stop the stuff. Especially when what another member is doing can jeopardize the organization. What happened to being your brother/sister'keeper. That includes correcting them when they are wrong."
Continued in next reply.
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Demondog posted 04-07-2005 05:05 PM
I'll keep it short and sweet. "It is what ... It is!" You should ride out and check on your sister and your SISTAS. When people need medical attention, things have obviously gone wayyyyyy tooo far! Not throwing out any indictiments but someone needs to get checked. 2COLD was absolutely right, as a member you need to intercede no matter how new you are!
Discretion posted 04-08-2005 11:29 AM
When it comes to my family, organizational loyalty goes out the window.
I'll be ****ed if I keep silent and possibly end up losing my sister just so a chapter of my sorority can continue to haze and flourish.
I know some will say that you are overreacting, I thought that at first when I read your post before the hospitalization account, but death or lifelong injury happens in a second and no one can predict it.
Zeta1920 04-08-2005 10:06 PM
The policy of Zeta Phi Beta sorority Inc, Is NO HAZING. Soror, you sould not worrie about what that chapter is going to do to you but what might happen to your sister if you do not report this. TELL and tell it now!!!. Pick up the phone and call the region and report it. There is not need for you blood sister to go prove her loyatly by being hazed. I am totally aginst that and feel that any sorors hazing should be removed from our great organization!!!
Nicole posted 04-09-2005 09:04 PM
As I say, we do not need to air our own dirty laundry. yes think about your sister, but think about your sorority as well. because you are a zeta, you can contact the sorors at her school and deal with them directly soror to soror. and think about this: your sister CHOSE to do this, and honestly, in the end she will be fine, she will be a stronger person for it, and she will be so proud of what she earned and built for herself. i'm not saying to not intervene with your sister, but i think you should keep it within the organization and try to deal directly with them first.
AfricanVenus posted 04-09-2005 10:39 PM
Nicole, that is the sickest and coldest response I've ever heard. When I see a mentality like yours, it points to how dangerous being in a BGLO can be.
"and think about this: your sister CHOSE to do this, and honestly, in the end she will be fine, she will be a stronger person for it, and she will be so proud of what she earned and built for herself."
onetruedelta posted 04-09-2005 11:28 PM
If she is already being sent to the hospital, how can you be so sure that in the end she will be fine? I know, and I am sure that others on this board know, of people or have heard of people who got hurt while pledging and are not fine. Also, as for being so proud of being a Zeta, I know MANY stories of people who were hazed on line, crossed the sands, but now REFUSE to even say the name of their org., let alone be active, because of the experiences that they faced while pledging. So, the belief that the more a person pledges or gets hazed, the more they value their org. is completely false. I hope that is not the case in this situation, but it is a reality...
One True Delta
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