Hello.

I'm working on a project at the moment and there is a passage of writing that I keep coming back to that doesn't look right to me.


‘****’, she muttered through trembling lips to the empty lounge; which, like all the other rooms in the house, seemed emptier than usual in Dave’s absence.

Is this acceptable? It just seems a little off to me.

Thanks.

The use of the semicolon before 'which' is grammatically dodgy. Use a comma.

For the purpose of effect, I found the inclusion of the semicolon suggested "she" had not entered the room before the absence, whereas a comma would have been preferable if the emptiness had previously been observed.