WIFE:
"What are you doing?"

HUSBAND:
"Nothing"

WIFE:
"Nothing...?You've been reading our marriage certificate for over an hour"


HUSBAND:
"I was looking for the expiration date"
********************************************

WIFE:
"Do you want dinner?"

HUSBAND:
"Sure,what are my choices?"

WIFE:
"Yes and no"
********************************************

WIFE:
"You always carry a picture of me in your wallet....Why?"

HUSBAND:
"When there is a problem..no matter how impossible...I look at your picture
and the problem disappears"

WIFE:
"You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"

HUSBAND:
"YES!...I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be
greater than this one?"
********************************************
GIRL:
"When we get married,I want to share all your worries,troubles,and lighten your burden."

BOY:
"It's very kind of you Darling,but I don't have any worries or troubles"

GIRL:
"Well...that's because we're not married yet"
*********************************************
SON:
"Mom..when I was on the bus with Dad this morning..he told me to give up my seat to a lady"

MOM:
"Well...you have done the right thing."

SON:
"BUT MOM!...I was sitting on Daddys lap"
*********************************************
NEWLY WED HUSBAND:
"Would you have married me if my Father hadn't left me a fortune?"

NEWLY WED WIFE:
"HONEY!...I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO left you a fortune"
*********************************************
FATHER:
"Son...Let me see your report card.."

SON:
"My friend just borrowed it...he wants to scare his parents"
*********************************************
GIRL:
"One kiss and I'll be yours forever"
BOY:
"Thanks for the early warning"
*********************************************
WIFE:
"Honey..What do you like most about me..my pretty face...or my sexy body?"

HUSBAND:
"I like your sense of humor.