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This forum has a long history, by interent standards anyway-unfortunately it has been abandoned for far too long due to real life circumstances knocking the heck out of what had been my very real desire to keep this board alive and well forever so that all of us could meet here and communicate with each other everyday.

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Re: Fear in Vietnam

Although being a Tanker and not a grunt, I agree with Doc, Fear from anticipation has got to be at the top of my list. That's something that has haunted me for many years.

After you take the Tank over roads that you know have been mined in the past, you know that sooner or later your going to hit one. Sometimes you don't hit one and your nerves are all on edge. Then when that day does come, it scares the crap out of you but strangely I felt a certain relief and almost Happiness after the event. This happens enough and you begin to hate any kind of a surprise for the rest of your life.

This can be a problem in later life. I go fishing here in the Florida back woods a lot and I still find myself gritting my teeth and getting sweaty palms and a fast heartbeat that will sometimes start skipping on me, when just driving my truck over the bumpy dirt roads. We all know that no Mines are there, but try telling my Brain that.

Threw my life after Nam, Anticipation has caused both myself and the average unsuspecting
JohnQ many Problems.

Re: Fear in Vietnam

Tom, I spent about 4 months responsible for that section of road - from the Mang Yang Pass to LZ Action. We did counter-ambush, patrolling the area, etc. Lots and lots of contact. It was a very reasonable place to be uncomfortable about.

Like Bill said, my noticeable (to me) fear occurred when I thought, or in some cases knew, that it was about to get deep. Once the first round went off, I went to work - no time to worry about anything else.

During my second tour,while I was on R&R my ARVN Ranger Bn went up to the Ranger Training Center north of Nha Trang for some additional training. I knew that they would be there when I got back to Nam, so when I got to Tan Son Nhut. I started begging rides north instead of going back to the Delta.

Unfortunately, unknown to me, there was a huge ARVN the ARVN expedition into Cambodia that made pretty much all Huey's unavailable. So I hitched a ride with a convoy. I got to Cam Rahn okay, but was stuck there until I got word that a White Horse (Korean) outfit was taking a convoy right by my destination.

As it turned out, they turned off HWY 1 about 6 miles short of the Ranger Training Center - and they dropped me off at a civilian bus stop at the intersection. No facilities except a couple of carts selling Viet Namese refreshments and a folding table with 2 chairs.

I sat out there right by my lonesome, drinking tea and wondering what the hell I was going to do when it got dark. Fortunately, after about 2 hours a couple of ARVN Rangers came by in a jeep and saw me sitting there. "Hey Dai Ui, you waiting for bus?"

I do not mind saying that I got more than a little uncomfortable sitting there.

Re: Fear in Vietnam

Well as I see it, if anyone did not live in fear in that place, then I think it is not the same place I'm thinking of. 6 KIA in less than 60 days in country.
D 3/21 196th. God bless Their soles. damn right it was fear!

Battalion Company Date Last Name First Name Mil Grade HomeCity Ho
3/21 D 11/19/69 Bachman Roger 1LT WESTFIELD NJ
3/21 D 1/7/70 Bradley Larry CPL VERHALEN TX
3/21 D 1/7/70 Erkes William 2LT UPPER BLACK EDDY PA
3/21 D 1/7/70 Retseck John PFC MICHIGAN CITY IN
3/21 D 1/7/70 Wells Gene SSGT PULASKI KY
3/21 D 1/7/70 Zydzik Frank SP4 PHILLIPS

Re: Fear in Vietnam

I watched a PBS military special about the Medal of Honor, and a medal winner who served in VN stated that he thought fear was not a weakness, but was a tool that one could use to his advantage which helped one to stay alive, as long as one was not taken over by it.

I myself have never served in combat, and have no idea how any of you could tolerate being sent into combat, far from home.

You all have my respect!

Re: Fear in Vietnam

Tom, I was a Huey slick crew chief with the 119th AHC, made it home exactly 40 years ago.

The way we coped, I called "deciding to die." Whether our mission was dustoff, ammo resupply, extraction, whatever, I would look at a hot LZ, smoke, flames, tracers bouncing all over the place, and think to myself, "If we go in there, I am not coming out alive." Then I would decide to do it anyway. You just accept your certain fate and get on with the business at hand. I do not understand it.

One "Tac-E" ammo resupply late at night, deep in the Plei Trap Valley, one of your units was under attack and running out of ammo. It was easy to find them, everything was on fire. Our pilot looked at the tracers, explosions, and fire in and around the LZ and said to the rest of us, "Guys, if we go in there, we are not going to make it out. Are you ready to spend the night down there?" No hesitation, everybody said, "Let's go." He said, "Okay, get your stuff together and get ready to unass the ship with your weapons and ammo. Kilpatrick, your job is to pull me out of the wreck." We got in, dropped the ammo, loaded some wounded, and got out without taking a single hit. An absolute miracle.

Very hard for me to explain or understand, but as sure as I was that I was not going to make it home from Vietnam alive, when we left Camp Holloway each day, I was just as sure that it was not going to happen "today," whatever day that was.

Bob K--
CE, Gator 834, 1969

Some here will understand

Comrades gather because they long to be with the men who once acted at their best; men who suffered and sacrificed, who were stripped of their humanity. I did not pick these men. They were delivered by fate and the military. But I know them in a way I know no other men. I have never given anyone such trust. They were willing to guard something more precious than my life. They would have carried my reputation, the memory of me. It was part of the bargain we all made, the reason we were so willing to die for one another. As long as I have memory, I will think of them all, every day. I am sure that when I leave this world, my last thought will be of my family and my comrades. Such good men."
>>>
>>> -- Author Unknown --
>>>
>>>
>>>BE STRONG, BE WELL................
>>>
>>>
>>> "THE NATION WHICH FORGETS ITS DEFENDERS WILL ITSELF BE FORGOTTEN"
>>> "LIBERTY AND FREEDOM ARE THE RESULTS OF ETERNAL VIGILANCE"
>>> "FREEDOM IS NOT FREE"
>>>
>>>

Re: Some here will understand

Jeffro, that quote had its origin with Michael Norman, in his book "These Good Men:"

"These Good Men"

These Good Men"I now know why men who have been to war yearn to reunite. Not to tell stories or look at old pictures. Not to laugh or weep. Comrades gather because they long to be with the men who once acted their best, men who suffered and sacrificed, who were stripped raw, right down to their humanity.

"I did not pick these men. They were delivered by fate and the U.S. Marine Corps. But I know them in a way I know no other men. I have never given anyone such trust. They were willing to guard something more precious than my life. They would have carried my reputation, the memory of me. It was part of the bargain we all made, the reason we were so willing to die for one another.

"I cannot say where we are headed. Ours are not perfect friendships; those are the province of legend and myth. A few of my comrades drift far from me now, sending back only occasional word. I know that one day even these could fall to silence. Some of the men will stay close, a couple, perhaps, always at hand.

"As long as I have memory, I will think of them all, every day. I am sure that when I leave this world, my last thought will be of my family and my comrades.....such good men."

from "These Good Men" by Michael Norman

============================================

Good Stuff.

Thanks,
Bob Kilpatrick